My Wedding Ring is Worn

My Wedding Ring is Worn

My wife and I host three engaged couples in our home for friendship and discipleship. All three are getting married in the next 8 months. Our home buzzes with their excitement as they prepare for a life in Christ together. They are soon to exchange rings. They will be shiny, perfectly round and contain no blemishes or marks. My ring doesn’t look like it did on my wedding day. My wedding ring is worn.

Over the course of the past 24 years my wedding ring has lost some of the texture it once had. It is no longer perfectly round. It has small nicks, scratches and even a light scuff mark. It bears the signs of how life impacts the promises that were made to Miriam in a church in Mount Vernon, Ohio.

In 24 years the three couples we meet with will also find that their rings bear the marks of life. You may be reading this and have found that your ring is not the only thing that bears a few scars. Your marriage may have faced cancer, the death of a child, the death of family members, pornography, the loss of friends and a costly job change. Jesus knows something about scars and how to experience resurrection life following those scars.

Now I don’t want you to think I am in any way minimizing the pain of scars by moving on so quickly. However, you also don’t need me to describe in detail the scars which you know so well. What we all need is a reminder that our scars do not have to define us. We can be defined by how we respond to the scars in our lives. We can be defined by the grace of God that flows out of the scars.

Mark my words, marriage will result in scars. However, Jesus can transform those scars into victorious life. Miriam and I have found every scar that resulted from the wounds of life have been an opportunity for the nail-scared hands of Christ to rub the salve of His grace and bring healing. He has helped us to fix our eyes on Jesus who gives us the grace to love with a love that we are incapable of giving. 

You see, my ring tells a story. I choose to look at the story of grace that my ring eloquently proclaims. It tells of how Miriam has often forgiven me and how she has occasionally needed my forgiveness. It tells of a love that can grow despite scars. It tells of a love that grows because of the One who identifies with scars. 

If you are married, take a look at your wedding ring and remember the promises made. Don’t remember what caused the scars but choose to remember the forgiveness and grace the flowed from the scars. Regardless of how long you have worn the ring on your finger; regardless of the scars on the surface of your ring; regardless of the pain you have experienced, reflect on the grace of God who brings healing to your heart and marriage. He knows something of scars and knows the path to life.

Yes, my wedding ring is worn. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t be the man, husband or minister I am today without the marks on that ring. I don’t know what scars the next 24 years hold but I know who walks with Miriam and me. He tells us that His grace is sufficient and I choose to believe Him. He is an expert with scars.