A New Way to See

A New Way to See

In the movie, “National Treasure,” Ben Gates finds the glasses that Benjamin Franklin created to see clues to the Templar Treasure on the back of the Declaration of Independence. The map was always present but no one could see it without changing ones lens.

My journey to separate from the Church of the Nazarene could be described by this movie metaphor. It wasn’t until I began to look at the world, and more importantly, the church, with a different lens, was I able to see what previously I could not see.

I have told people close to me for nearly half my pastoral ministry that it felt like we didn’t have a Sanctification problem in the church. Instead, it felt like we had a repentance problem, or more specifically, a metanoia problem. We saw salvation as a change of eternal address born out of some apologetic prayer then we quickly turn to some words of surrender but the life of the disciple, and then by extension, the church was void of the powerful personal, corporate and community impact we see in the New Testament or even in present day China.

As church culture evolved it became clearer and clearer that a large portion of congregants wanted goods and services that targeted their family. While some conversions happen along the way, our congregations were not making inroads into the secular world. In fact, the opposite was happening. People were leaving the church faster than we could get people to attend. Catholic and Protestant data by and large backs this up, with rare exception.

What if our structure, paradigms, organizational hierarchies, systems for educating ministers, and even the way we make disciples was crafted for a time and place that no longer exists? What if we became more in love with our traditions than we are with the people next door? What if leaders inside the organization can no longer see because their very livelihood depends on the perpetuation of that structure, paradigm, etc? These questions haunt me.

I then moved to Florida. I volunteered for 30 days at a state park. I worked 30 days at a septic company. I worked 11 months at Epic Logistics delivering Amazon packages and became a teacher in a public school. In those two years I began to see the church, not as “Ned the Nazarene” but through the eyes of those who had no interest in attending church. Consider what I heard…

“The Church hates us.”

“Christians see me as a project. They don’t really love me and won’t until they fix me.”

“I have experienced nothing but hypocrisy and judgment from Christians.”

When I realized the typical church was using a blueprint to build something people no longer wanted; when I realized we were following a map to a place people had no interest in going; when I realized we were structured as an organization people did not want to be a part of; when I realized that many Christians like to talk more about loving than the hard work of actually doing so, I knew that I needed to change.

I began with a lot of listening. I asked a lot of open ended questions. I was asked a lot of questions. As this process took place it was like I put on Benjamin Franklin’s glasses and saw that which I had previously never seen. I had one choice - repent. I needed a thorough change of mind and the Holy Spirit had to be the author of that change.

I turned to scripture for a much older vision of discipleship, a much older vision for the church. What I saw was nothing short of an awakening. It was filled with joy, hope and promise in an environment of oppression, persecution, and execution. It was filled with radical discipleship, accountability and transparent living. It was nothing short of an awakening to me.

I am where I am today because of the move of the Spirit in my life. I am having so much fun being a minister, teacher, coach, neighbor and friend. Stepping outside of existing paradigms and affiliations is a difficult thing to do. Let me be personally transparent - it was not until my salary was separated from sustaining and reinforcing the organization of the church that I was able to be objective about the church.

Could it be that more of us are struggling than we know? I had over a dozen pastors tell me that they feel God calling them to something new or different but they cannot do it because of the implications. They wish they could but… I am here to tell you that if God has given you a vision to see then He will bulldoze the barriers in the way. When God calls us to something he also makes a way.

I moved to Florida with a 30 day plan. God paved the way. I had no job, no residence, no prospect for a job. I only had the certainty that God asked me to look back in time, back in Acts to rediscover a forgotten way. He asked me to love people and trust Him to save / transform them. So here I am, discovering how much joy there really is in following Jesus.

I want people to say…”The people who make up the First Coast Network love us. They don’t see us as projects. They don’t try to ‘fix’ me. They care more about our community than they do their own organization.”

I am having the time of my life. My heart has found such peace. Like in the movie, Ben keeps realizing how changing lenses changes what he can see. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit continues to reshape my vision for what can be in and through those who are disciples of Jesus.